My Two Neighbors Demanded I Paint My House, But The Document They Sent Me Wasn’t From The HOA

Living next to Brenda and Eileen is like being in a constant, low-grade fever dream. They moved in together last year and immediately appointed themselves the unofficial queens of the cul-de-sac. First, it was a series of passive-aggressive notes left on my car about parking “one inch too close” to their precious petunias. Then came…